The probe-and-drogue Aerial Autonomous Refueling (AAR) technology has been widely studied because it requires little modification of refueling equipment and can be applied to a variety of refueling processes. However, there are few researches on the whole flight control process from take-off to disengagement. In this paper, the corresponding flight command loop control law and guidance law are designed respectively to study the control strategy of rendezvous, formation, docking, refueling and disengagement stages during the probe-and-drogue AAR. Based on the study of domestic and foreign experience and flight procedure of aerial refueling test, the control mechanism of each stage of AAR under two different modes of "manned-unmanned" and "unmanned-unmanned" is established, and the difference between two control strategies is analyzed. Taking K8 aircraft and one aircraft as the tanker and receiver, a complete multi-mode control strategy is established. The traditional PID control method is adopted in the command loop, and the feedback gain and forward gain of each mode are obtained by pole assignment method, so that the aircraft can reach the desired speed and angle under the multi-mode integrated control system. Meanwhile, the whole process control laws for each stage of aerial refueling are designed based on the test flight experience data. Finally, the simulations of the designed control law show that the designed control strategy is reasonable and feasible, and the control method has strong anti-interference ability and high tracking accuracy.